Win Over an Opponent by Asking for Advice

Source: http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/06/win-over-an-opponent-by-asking-for-advice/

What do an inflated surgical bill, a fuming real-estate developer, and a dreaded performance appraisal have in common? All can be mitigated with one simple gesture: a request for advice.

We seek advice on a daily basis, on everything from who grills the best burger in town to how to handle a sticky situation with a coworker. However, many people don’t fully appreciate how powerful requesting guidance can be. Soliciting advice will arm you with information you didn’t have before, but there are other benefits you may not have considered:

1. Advisors will like you more:  Arthur Helps sagely observed, “We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.” Being asked for advice is inherently flattering because it’s an implicit endorsement of our opinions, values, and expertise. Furthermore, it works equally well up and down the hierarchy — subordinates are delighted and empowered by requests for their insights, and superiors appreciate the deference to their authority and experience. James Pennebaker’s research shows that if you want your peers to like you, ask them questions and let them experience the “joy of talking.” This is especially important because research shows that increasing your likability will do more for your career than slightly increasing competence.

One of us (Katie) recently put this to the test while dealing with a real estate transaction. After several phone calls to indifferent or discouraging county officials, Katie visited the Planning and Zoning office in person. Rather than pester the official with what would and wouldn’t be permissible, Katie asked for her advice on how she would handle the constraints. The official provided a bounty of insider information and guidance that Katie never would’ve obtained on her own. When Katie thanked the official for her invaluable insights, the official confessed that she was burnt out by constantly impeding people’s aspirations and dreams with zoning roadblocks.  Katie’s humble request for the official’s expertise was revitalizing, and she in turn helped Katie deftly navigate what otherwise would’ve been a very difficult situation.

2. Advisors are able to see things from your perspective. Think about the last time someone came to you for advice. Most likely, you engaged in an instinctive mental exercise: you tried to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and imagine the world through their eyes. Our research has identified the extensive benefits of perspective-taking — it facilitates understanding and increases the odds of finding creative agreements in negotiations.

In another study, we simulated a performance appraisal and found that underperforming employees who asked for advice were able turn their bosses into better perspective-takers.  This shifted the tone of a hostile performance appraisal towards cooperation and nearly doubled their chances of being recommended for promotion (31% vs 58%)!

3. Advisors become a champion for your cause: A third benefit of soliciting adversaries for advice is that they become your champions. When someone offers you advice, it represents an investment of his time and energy. Your request empowers your advisor to make good on their recommendations and become an advocate for your cause.

One of our favorite illustrations of this comes from one of our MBA students, Clara, who received a shocking $18,000 bill for a surgery that was performed at an out-of-network surgical center (even though the surgeon himself was classified as in-network). Detailing her strategy for negotiating the bill, Clara wrote, “I called Fran (the nurse). Deep down, I really believed this was her fault. But instead of approaching it that way, I asked for her counsel and guidance with the mess. Knowing her personality (interested in having control over her domain and running the show), I enlisted her to help me with the personnel at the Surgery Center. This made her feel important and she took the ball from there.” Thanks to the championing efforts of the nurse, Clara was able to negotiate not just a reduction of her bill, but a complete waiver!

This approach captured all three benefits of seeking advice:  First, the nurse was flattered to have her authority acknowledged, quickly transforming the conversation from an argument to be won to a problem to be solved. Second, she was able to see Clara’s perspective and became sympathetic to her predicament. Finally, she felt empowered and committed to facilitating a resolution.

This same approach works in job negotiations. When one of us — Adam — negotiated his first professorship, he asked for advice from one of the professors he’d met during the interview. The professor immediately shared vital information (the university’s reservation price on salary!) and worked back channels with the dean to give Adam more research resources.  The professor become such an advocate that she even adjusted her own teaching schedule to accommodate Adam’s desired teaching schedule.

Whether it’s a high-stakes monetary negotiation or winning support for a proposal, the simple gesture of soliciting advice can make you more likeable, encourage your counterpart to see your perspective, and rally commitment. The beauty of this approach is that it costs so little.  So as you plan your next negotiation, consider how a targeted request for advice could turn an adversary into an advocate.

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I trust my gut and when I see a problem, I jump in and try to fix it. That can be messy, I know I will make mistake, but I always learn something that makes me smarter on the next go-around.

What you eat is who you are

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/food/recipes/Recipe-Palak-paneer/articleshow/24476913.cms

Here's how poor nutrition can lead to odd behaviour

Followers of fad diets, beware. Apart from affecting your physical wellbeing, studies have suggested that nutritional deficiencies and/or an imbalance of bacteria in your gut results in several behavioural problems. The reason food has an immediate and lasting effect on mental health is because of the way it affects the structure and function of the brain. Your gut has the ability to influence your mind, mood and behaviour. This is why you find yourself thinking from your stomach each time you are hungry. Here, we pick three vitamins and explain how their deficiency in the body can cause a behavioural problem.

Lack of vitamin B3 leads to: Anxiety, fatigue
Eat: Wheat bran, chicken
Vitamin B3, or niacin, is an essential vitamin required for processing fat in the body, lowering cholesterol levels, and regulating blood sugar levels. It is learnt that a deficiency of niacin leads to pellagra, a condition characterised by diarrhoea, dermatitis, dementia, inflammation of the mouth, amnesia, and delirium. Even a slight deficiency of niacin can lead to irritability, poor concentration, anxiety, fatigue, restlessness, apathy, and depression. In fact, niacin found in large quantities in rice, wheat bran, chicken and peanuts is regarded as a secret treatment for psychological disorders such as attention deficit disorder, anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder and general psychosis, which affects one's social behaviour.

Lack of fermented foods leads to: Memory loss
Eat: Idlis, dhoklas
Be it idli, dosa, raita or dhokla, fermented food have been a staple in practically all our diets. They play a crucial role in maintaining of gut health. In fact, most age-related problems like memory loss stem from lack of protective intestinal microbiota (the microbe population living in our intestine). In a recent study, polyamines (low molecular weight aliphatic polycations, highly charged and ubiquitously present in all living cells), found in foods such as wheat germ, fermented soy, and matured cheese, were shown to prevent memory decline in fruit flies. Medical experts explain, your body gets polyamines from three sources: Endogenous biosynthesis, intestinal microorganisms, and through diet.

They advise eating a rich supplement of high quality probiotic or nonpasteurised, traditionally fermented foods to maximise the variety of bacteria in the diet. However, eating fermented food alone may not be enough if the rest of your diet is poor. The gut bacteria are an active and integrated part of your body, and are vulnerable to your overall lifestyle. If you eat a lot of processed foods, your gut bacteria are going to be compromised because these foods will destroy healthy microflora and feed bad bacteria and yeast.

Besides, your gut bacteria are sensitive to antibiotics, chlorinated water, antibacterial soap and pollution. So if you've been Mr Forgetful of late, you know which factors may be at play.

Omega 3 deficiency leads to: Irritability
Eat: Oily fish, soy, nuts
One nutrient in particular that is essential for optimal brain functioning is omega-3 fatty acid. The brain relies on a mixture of complex carbohydrates, essential fatty acids (EFAs) — particularly Omega 3 and Omega 6 — vitamins and water to work properly. Highly processed food contains high levels of transfats, which can assume the same position in the brain as the EFAs, without delivering the proper nutrients.

This nutritional deficiency could hamper the body's production of amino acids, which are vital to good psychological health. Neurotransmitters, made from amino acids, are chemicals, which transmit nerve impulses between the brain cells.

Serotonin, a key neurotransmitter made by the amino acid tryptophan, helps to regulate feelings of contentment and anxiety, as well as playing a role in regulating depression.

Many adults do not have sufficient levels of tryptophan because their intake of nuts, seeds and wholegrains is low. A deficiency of this supplement is known to change the levels and functioning of both serotonin and dopamine (which plays a role in feelings of pleasure), as well as compromise the bloodbrain barrier, which normally protects your brain from unwanted matter gaining access. Omega-3 deficiency can also decrease normal blood flow to your brain, an interesting finding given that studies show people with depression have compromised blood flow to a number of brain regions. High omega-3 deficiency can be a contributing factor to deteriorating mental health along with vitamin D deficiency, which also plays an important role. In addition to consuming fermented foods, eliminating most sugars and grains from your diet is also of importance as these increase your risk of insulin resistance, which is also linked to psychological problems such as depression and violent behaviour.

7 best foods for weight loss

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/health-fitness/diet/7-best-foods-for-weight-loss/articleshow/23297201.cms


If you've been striving to lose weight and haven't been able to do so, here's how you can...

Lose weight faster. Even if you are dieting, chances are that you are wondering what to eat, to boost your weight loss. We select seven foods for you that will help you shed those pounds faster than you've thought.

1. Almonds: Did you know that these nuts are packed with the best nutrients and vitamins? Just a handful of almonds will give you the right boost of energy and will also keep hunger pangs at bay. Avoid the ones that are coated with chocolate or salt.

2. Apples: We all know how an apple a day will keep the doctor away, but do you also know that it helps keep fat at bay too? Apples are said to contain four to five grams of fiber per serving, so they are sweet as well as crunchy and keeps you full for a long time. They also contain antioxidants which add essential vitamins and minerals in your body.

3. Avocado: Though they are known to be fatty, but you need not worry. Avocados are loaded with fiber and proteins and helps in weight loss. They contain 'good' monosaturated fats that keeps you full for a long time.

4. Bell Peppers: Red, yellow or green - you can choose any, bell peppers contain vitamin C, and gives you the right amount of vitamins. You can have them raw, as a salad or in a bowl of soup.

5. Cinnamon: Instead of adding sugar to your beverages or meals, try adding a pinch of cinnamon for increased energy and a slower release of insulin in your system. Cinnamon has a sweet taste and is completely guilt-free.

6. Eggs: If you are having egg whites, you are surely going to lose oodles of weight. They contain proteins and keeps you feeling full for a long time. Thus egg whites are said to be the best choice for breakfast.

7. Quinoa: If you are craving carbs during your lunch or dinner hours, you can always go in for quinoa. Said to be an alternative for rice, it's rich in proteins and fiber and is a wonderful food that aids in weight loss.