How to be Courageous

Source: www.linkedin.com

When Yves Biggoer-Burger was in the second grade, he witnessed a group of peers teasing an overweight girl. Drawing himself up to his full 8-year-old height, he stood by her side and said:

“Guys, she might be bigger than you, but she’s definitely not as stupid.”

The boys slunk away, shame-faced.

Many of us can remember times in our childhood—and our adulthood too—when we would have liked to act as bravely as Yves. But we couldn’t muster the courage. Maybe we weren’t lion-hearted or quick-witted enough. Maybe we thought that courage belongs to an elect class of noble souls and daredevils and not for the likes of us.

I have felt all of these things.

But this is a mistake not only for those who might benefit from our courage but also for our very own selves. Courage helps us grow and give. And it’s available to us all.

This post is not about how to take monumentally brave actions, like Malala Yousafzai, the young Pakistani education activist who was shot for her efforts, or like a firefighter rushing into a burning building. It is instead about understanding what courage really is and training ourselves to perform small, daily acts of bravery.

1. Courage means being afraid and acting anyway, not that you’d know this from looking around at our culture, which celebrates fearlessness. (There are over 50 books titled Fearless on Amazon as of this writing.) If you tend to be fearful, you probably assume that you’re not courageous. Courage researchers Cynthia Pury and Charles Starkey reviewed the citations for valor of 74 recipients of the Carnegie Medal for heroic actions and found not a single mention of the words fear, afraid, or worried. This isn’t surprising; the psychologist Avril Thorne found that listeners embrace traumatic stories emphasizing bravery or compassion, but not ones focusing on fear or sadness. Yet, we all know that fear is a universally powerful emotion, and we all know how terrible terror feels. Thus, we should grasp that feeling afraid and acting anyway is a form of nobility.

2. Courage is a habit, a muscle you can exercise. Most of us aren’t born courageous, so we shouldn’t expect to magically acquire it without practice. As Brene Brown writes in her book The Gifts of Imperfection, “Courage is…a habit, a virtue: You get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.”

Get in the habit of deciding what you think about things and speaking from that place of conviction. Practice saying what you think about small, inconsequential things: pleasantly, politely—but firmly.

3. Notice every time you do something that you’re scared to do—something your body is telling you not to do. You’ll start to realize that you do these things all the time. You’re already much braver than you think. This is particularly true of shy people for whom daily life requires them to smile in the face of fear. Here is one of my favorite quotes, by Charles Darwin: “A shy man no doubt dreads the notice of strangers, but can hardly be said to be afraid of them. He may be as bold as a hero in battle, and yet have no self-confidence about trifles in the presence of strangers.”

4. Focus on the people or cause you’re standing up for. It’s easier to be courageous on behalf of others than it is for your own sake. Here is one of my favorite examples: a fellow Princeton grad named John Burford, who rushed a fraternity, was horrified by its dangerous hazing practices and wrote a letter to the school paper describing his experiences. It was a hugely courageous act. At the time, all of Burford’s friends were members of the college Greek system. But he focused not on the risk to his own social standing but on the safety of future students: “Ultimately,” he explained, “what I wasn’t OK with was the possibility of being remembered…as ‘that guy who knew what fraternities at Princeton did, and could have spoken up, and then somebody died because of his fucking cowardice.’”

5. Find courage in numbers. It’s much easier to act in the company of even one other person who feels the way you do. The hardest thing in the world is to dissent solo. Sometimes, you’ll have to go it alone, of course. But often, this isn’t necessary.

6. Learn to attend to positive signals and to discount negative ones. Many of us have a “negativity bias” that causes us to pay more attention to disapproval than to positive reinforcement. Be aware of this, and gently steer your mind to positive stimuli. When I first started my public speaking career, I tended to focus on whichever audience member had the most disgruntled expression on her face. These days, though I still hope to please everyone, I’m much more attuned to those who seem happy to be there.

7. Find role models of quietly courageous people. I’m a huge believer in the power of role models for just about anything you hope to do or become. When you’re trying to stretch yourself beyond your apparent limits, there’s a part of you that wonders whether it can actually be done. A role model is a constant reminder that the answer is yes. Channel that person until it feels natural to channel your very own self. And if you don’t have a role model handy, try Miep Gies, the quiet and ordinary woman who sheltered Anne Frank in her attic for two years. “I don’t want to be considered a hero,” said Gies.“Imagine [if] young people would grow up with the feeling that you have to be a hero to do your human duty. I am afraid nobody would ever help other people, because who is a hero? I was not. I was just an ordinary housewife and secretary.”

It was exactly Gies’ ordinariness that made her courage all the more noteworthy and attainable for us all.

How about you? Do you think of yourself as courageous? Do you agree that courage means being afraid and acting anyway? What acts of courage inspire you most?

SUSAN CAIN is the co-founder of Quiet Revolution LLC, a company dedicated to unlocking the power of introverts for the benefit of us all. Quiet Revolution has now launched! Susan is the author of the award-winning New York Times bestseller QUIET: The Power of Introverts in A World That Can’t Stop Talking, and her record-smashing TED talk has been viewed over 10 million times. Sign up here to receive updates about the Quiet Revolution. Follow Susan here by clicking the yellow FOLLOW button, on Twitter @susancain, and on Facebook. 

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How to Embrace and Follow Your Personal Legend

Source:wikihow.com

1.Understand What a Personal Legend Is.

When Santiago meets the old King of Salem, Melchizedek, he teaches the boy for the first time what a Personal Legend is. He says that a Personal Legend is "what you have always wanted to accomplish" (21).

2.Acknowledge your Personal Legend

The language of the world will attempt to reveal your personal legend to you in many different ways, whether it be through omens, mentors or signs. Whichever way you come to know your personal legend it is important that you acknowledge it and take action to make your dreams a reality. After all, "when you really want something, the universe always conspires in your favour" (36). It is easiest for people to realize their legend when they are young because "at that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their life. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend" (21). This is why Santiago is the ideal candidate, because he has not become jaded over time. That being said, you are able to pursue your Personal Legend at ANY time in your life!



3.Have a Clear Goal

Create for yourself a goal in which you will be able to realize when you have completed your Legend. Without a clear, explicit goal, or Personal Legend, it is impossible to ever achieve it. The King said that "you must always know what it is that you want" (56). Santiago's goal was to find the treasure awaiting him in Egypt.

4.Do not be a Sheep

Coelho uses Santiago's sheep to illustrate a life of someone who has ignored the call to their Personal Legend. They live a mundane life, where "all they think about is food and water" (11). While these are important things, there is so much more to life than just the necessities. Money and greed corrupt some people so that all they think about is how to get more, which is similar to how the sheep are focused only on one thing at a time. The sheep "don't even realize that they're walking a new road every day," (11) very similar to the way some people get so caught up in the day-to-day that they forget to stop and smell the roses.

5.Appreciate the Simple Things

The gypsy tells Santiago that "It's the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary; only wise men are able to understand them" (15).

6.When You Feel Like Giving Up, Don't

Sometime during your quest, you will feel as if the universe is not conspiring to help you achieve your Legend. At this point, the King will "always appear in one form or another. Sometimes [he] appears in the form of a solution, or a good idea. At other times, at a crucial moment, [he] makes it easier for things to happen" (23). He goes on to say that often times he does other little things, but people rarely notice them. Santiago experiences this when he first arrives in Tangiers and is robbed. He thinks to himself that he's "too insignificant to conquer the world" (39), and is really down on himself, but that is when he remembers the stones the King gave him. This omen tells him to continue on his journey! Remember the old proverb, "It is said that the darkest hour of the night came just before the dawn"

7.Let Go of Your Fears and Doubts

Santiago realizes after hearing about the baker's ignorance to his Personal Legend that "there [is] nothing to hold him back except himself" (28). The main reason why the average person, including the baker and the crystal merchant, will fail to seek out their Personal Legend is safety. People are more concerned with making a name for themselves and being comfortable that they choose to settle for an average life. When Santiago meets the camel driver, he reveals to Santiago that people "are always afraid of losing what [they] have, whether it's [their] life, or possessions and property. But this fear evaporates when [they] understand that [their] life stories and the history of the world were written by the same hand" (76). By trusting in fate, you are able to free yourself from these fears. The alchemist teaches Santiago this as well when he says " Don't give into your fears... If you do, you won't be able to follow your heart... There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure" (141). Without fearing failure, you are free to pursue any path you like.

8. Follow the Omens!!

I can't stress the importance of this step enough! Omens help guide Santiago in his quest and the King reiterates this lesson over again before he leaves, so that Santiago will not forget it, saying, "Don't forget the language of omens" (30). The crystal merchant asks Santiago at one point, "Why ask more out of life?" and Santiago replies, "Because we have to respond to omens" (52). It's clear that the merchant has not responded to the omens, and that is why he has a hard time understanding Santiago's constant quest for greatness.

 9.Change your Outlook and Learn from Every Obstacle

Like the old saying "You cannot change the direction of the wind, you can only adjust your sails," Santiago realizes that when he thinks positively about his situation he is much closer to his legend. After receiving the omen from the King in Tangiers, he thought to himself that "this wasn't a strange place, it was a new one" (41). Also, when facing the vast desert Santiago has to cross to reach Egypt, he recalls "[he's] learned things from the sheep, and [he's] learned things from crystal... [He] can learn something from the desert, too" (73). Even though Santiago is not thrilled with the long walk ahead of him, he knows that if he looks positively towards his obstacle, he'll be able to learn valuable lessons from it.

10.Carpe Diem!

"I can always go back to being a shepherd, the boy thought... But maybe I'll never have another chance to get to the Pyramids in Egypt.... The hills of Andalusia were only two hours away, but there was an entire desert between him and the Pyramids. Yet the boy felt that there was another way to regard his situation: he was actually two hours closer to his treasure" (64). Santiago knows that his old life is always waiting for him, but if he doesn't pursue his Personal Legend now, he may never be able to do it again. The camel driver also says to him, "If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man" (85). Since this is such an important message, it comes up again when the topic of the seer comes up. The seer says "The secret is here in the present. If you pay attention to the present you can improve upon it. And, if you improve on the present, what comes later will also be better... Each day, in itself, brings with it an eternity" (103). Seize the day, and don't be distracted by the past, or future.

11.Go with your Gut

Santiago begins to understand that "intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life... where we are able to know everything" (74). Our heart knows how to interpret the omens, and therefore knows the right decision when our conscious mind is not able to decide on its own. Santiago later realizes that he "and his heart had become friends, and neither now was capable of betraying each other" (134). When you really get to know your heart, you are able to listen to the soul of the world. The Alchemist tells Santiago, "You already know what you need to know. I am only going to point you in the direction of your treasure" (115). This quote illustrates how the power to find your Personal Legend within you, otherwise it wouldn't be your Legend! Your mentors will only give you the nudge in the right direction that you may need from time to time.Trust that you and your heart can always make the right decision.

12.Since you have defined a goal early on, you should be able to realize when you have completed your Personal Legend. After this, you may find that you discover another, and another yet. Whatever you do, whether you are content where you are, or you strive for more, do not forget the lessons you have learned in your journey. After all, it is not necessarily they goal you must pursue, instead savour the time it takes you to get there!

5 reasons to take a solo adventure

Source: tentree.com

It’s wonderful to get outside and explore with your best friend or a great group of outdoor enthusiasts; the conversation, company and entertainment that results is sure to create a memorable experience. However, positive experiences can be had when you head out on your own as well. Whether it’s a quick day-trip or a multi-day excursion, so much can be gained from spending some alone time outdoors in nature!Here are the 5 reasons to take a solo adventure:

1) Opportunity for Self-Growth

Getting outside and embracing nature can be very therapeutic and transformative. When out alone you have time with your thoughts and can really embrace the moment — you can focus on your own revitalization and rejuvenation. Plus, the independence and confidence that comes from completing a solo journey can be quite empowering.

2) Create Your Adventure

When going solo you have complete freedom to do what you want, when you want. Yes, it’s okay if you want to be a little selfish from time to time. Do you want to rush to the top of the hike and back, challenging your personal best? Maybe you want to sit at the waterfall for hours waiting for that perfect light for your photograph. Or perhaps getting a little meditation done. Being alone with your thoughts can help you problem solve more effectively. Often your adventure is at the agenda of others. But when you’re alone, there is no struggle to match your schedule or feel held back, it is a time for you to focus on you and what you want to get out of the experience.

3) Meet New People

Often you are more approachable alone than in a large group. So strike up a conversation on the trail as you fall into pace with someone for a little while. Chat with people while you have your lunch at the summit. You never know who you will meet along the trail; maybe a fellow tentree supporter, a future hiking partner, or maybe even a special someone.

4) Learn Your Limits

It’s great when a group adventures out and you collectively share your skills and knowledge. Before heading out it is important to realize your limitations and be aware of areas you may be lacking skills in. Going solo is a great opportunity to touch up or learn new things prior to heading out with a group. That way you aren’t relying on someone else while out on the trail. Always great to expand your skill set, and try something new!

5) Get Creative

Without anyone there for company, you may get lonely or need to find some motivation to push forward when tired. Get creative and have some fun with it. Don’t be afraid to talk or sing to yourself. And with no one there to take a photograph of you why not play around with your self portrait by seeing what you come up with as you run over to the perfect lookout in the 10 second timer before you shutter releases.

So pack a bag, head out and make your next adventure a solo one! Never know what you might discover about yourself! Be sure to tell someone of your travel plans and be properly prepared with the right gear and knowledge, safety first!

If you want to see more cool shots check out my instagram @hannahkeiver!

Training Tips: Road Running

Source: nationalgeographic.com

Mammoth, California-based Deena Kastor is the equivalent of running royalty. She set the American record for the half marathon—twice—won the 10,000-meter national championships four times, and snagged a bronze in the marathon at the 2004 Olympic Games, among a laundry list of other achievements.

1. SHAKE UP YOUR ROUTINE

Humans are creatures of habit, but when it comes to running, those habits can slow you down. “I think the most common mistake anybody makes, no matter what sport you’re into, is we get into a routine, whether it’s going to the same place or going the same pace,” says Kastor. “My advice to people when they’re feeling stale or unmotivated is to switch it up.” Hop in the car and drive someplace new, even if it’s simply another neighborhood, or pick a landmark a hundred yards away and sprint there before resuming a normal speed. Kastor says running the same ho-hum pace every day not only leads to burnout but can also contribute to overuse injuries, so be playful. “It’s all about keeping refreshed and keeping a healthy spirit, whether it’s a change of scenery or a change of pace,” says Kastor.

2. POUND CALORIES

When Deena Kastor finishes her twice-daily training runs, she has one thing on her mind: food. “It sounds gnarly, but when you’re working out, you’re actually breaking down tissue,” she says. “It’s really in the recovery phase that your body supercompensates and gets stronger.” Kastor always keeps a Marathon Bar (an energy bar for which she’s a spokeswoman), an apple, and nuts in her bag for a mix of protein and carbs. She eats something within 30 minutes of a run in order to stop the breakdown process. She’s also a gourmet post-workout and is currently working on a cookbook with healthy recipes like butternut squash soup and avocado enchiladas—perhaps motivation enough to sprint to the finish.

3. SPLURGE ON A COACH

Sometimes breaking out of a rut requires a second opinion, and Kastor says coaches aren’t just for the elites. “I really think a coach or a mentor is a huge asset for anybody,” says Kastor. “If you really do have fitness goals, you don’t necessarily need a team of people around you, but you need someone you can rely on to create a plan for you.” Nowadays, online coaches are relatively inexpensive and can design workout plans for specific races or goals. Often they’ll coach multiple people training for the same race to create a community. (Look to the Road Runners Clubs of America for coach listings.) “If an online running coach is coaching five to six people for a race, you can have people there to answer your questions, whether it’s your coach or a teammate,” says Kastor. “It’s nice to know that you’re not alone.”

4. FIND YOUR PERSONAL ROCKET BOOSTER

A large part of any sport is mental, and running is no exception. For Kastor, inspiration can be as simple as a lyric she picked up from a song—one of her favorites is U2’s “It’s a beautiful day, don’t let it get away”—but she also picks up lines from her coaches. One key phrase, in fact, informed a career-changing win—her first marathon gold in Chicago in 2005. “My coach is very inspiring and long-winded and philosophical, but on that morning he just simply said ‘go out there and define yourself,’” says Kastor. “Just those two words—define yourself—kept replaying through my mind that whole race.” Continually seek new inspiration in your own life, whether it’s a line from a book, a quip from a friend, or an electrifying song, advises Kastor.

5. DREAM BIG

Without dreaming, there’s no incentive to accomplish something special. “When you have that goal in your mind, you’re making positive choices to get there every day,” says Kastor. For some, it’s completing an Ironman or the New York City Marathon. For others, it’s a charity event, a great destination race, or even a running vacation in a far-flung locale. This year, for example, Row Adventures is debuting raft-supported wilderness running trips. Run some 55 miles over six days, camping each night on Idaho’s Middle Fork of the Salmon, or run 40 miles over three days, staying in remote lodges along Oregon’s Rogue River. “That’s on my list for 2012,” says Kastor. The value, however, doesn’t lie only in the goal but also the effort, she says. “Even if you’re not reaching those dreams, you’ve become so much better in pursuing them.”

8 ways backpacking will make you a better person

Source:tentree.com

If you haven’t tried backpacking, I’d definitely recommend it! It can be life changing. Here are 8 ways backpacking will make you a better person:

1)  You learn to simplify

When you have to carry everything you need to survive on your back, you learn pretty quickly what you do and don’t need. I always pack & unpack my backpack before a trip until I’m certain there’s no more excess clothes or gear to leave behind! This mindset tends to blend with your normal off-trail life, and before you know it you’ll be much more carefree about most everything. It’s all about getting rid of the excess!

2)  You get plenty of time to sort out your priorities

When you spend countless hours hiking and exploring, your off-trail dramas tend to melt away. I can’t even tell you how many arguments I’ve avoided just by going hiking before bringing up a problem to someone! While on trail, you effortlessly discover what’s truly important to you and life becomes much easier. By the time you get back to your car at the trailhead, the last thing you’ll want to do is deal with things that don’t make you happy!

3)  You learn to be thankful for pretty much everything

Not everyone gets to experience the indescribable feeling of that first bite of dinner once you’ve set up camp or the moment your head hits your stuff-sack full of clothes while you’re bundled in your warm sleeping bag after hiking however many miles into the wilderness. If you’ve got a sweet tooth like me, there’s nothing like the taste of the chocolate bar you’ve meticulously kept in tact for the last 1/2 mile of your hike.

4)  The hikers you encounter on trail are the best people you’ll ever meet

You would be surprised at the connections you can make while hiking. I’ve met people from all over the world on-trail, and we still keep in touch! There’s something about meeting like-minded people in beautiful places that makes you feel really good about life.

5)  You’ll have the best stories

When you’ve trekked across countless miles of wilderness, you acquire a lot of stories worth telling. Telling these stories won’t just make you a fun person to be around, but going through the events that make the stories will strengthen your character as well. If you haven’t seen the ‘Friends’ episode about the backpacking through Europe story, I highly recommend it.

6)  Living outside is cool

Waking up to the morning sun & fresh air might be the most invigorating feeling ever (although falling sleep under the stars is a worthy competitor). Something about temporarily living outdoors awakens a part of your soul that you never knew existed, and you’ll notice the change immediately.

7)  You learn things about yourself you never knew before

Backpacking will make you realize what you’re capable of, and it’s usually a lot more than you’d think! Carrying everything you need on your back and walking miles and miles will invoke a huge sense of independence which will ultimately make you more confident in your everyday life.

8)  The healing silence of nature will fix everything

No matter what you’re going through, spending prolonged amounts of time in the wilderness will help. Once you get back to ‘real life,’ you’ll feel completely revitalized and refreshed. There is nothing that beautiful places and fresh air cannot heal.